You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
