You're my little dorito
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
