So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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