Where is the hickey?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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