4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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