There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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