There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
