ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Houston, we have a squirter
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize