i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
