The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
