oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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