Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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