This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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