dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
