3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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