You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
do herpes really smell.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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