I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
