So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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