you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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