so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
