I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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