He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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