Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
