No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was like eating out sand paper
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize