I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
