i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
