I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
