they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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