After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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