All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Couch. On fire.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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