I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
