Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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