Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
