I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I supernannyed him into submission
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
