My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
