I must be too annoying 4 u.
Got a toothbrush?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
