oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize