just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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