You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
