Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
