I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize