make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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