i already hear my dad disowning me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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