I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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