He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
