You just made me feel so damn special
I can text with my tongue
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
