He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
