New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
