Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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