I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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