Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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