my mouth tastes like poor choices
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
