he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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