you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
