it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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