matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cockslap morals
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
