do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
