You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
