We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
