very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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