were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
