he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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