Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
