I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
