Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize