but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
